Wednesday 23 January 2013

Goodbye for now...

3 months have passed since my last surgery. Recovery has been up and down but generally steady and I'm certainly better than I was before. My diet is still very limited but better than it was 6 months ago when all I could manage was liquids. I still exist on soups, smoothies and low residue foods like pasta, rice, toast, cheese etc and I've reached the conclusion that this is as good as it's going to get. It's not fantastic, but it's manageable. As long as I feel healthy and can exercise, do my work and live a relatively normal life, I'll take it. I'm not bitter, angry or resentful about how things have turned out. It is what it is.

Another operation is on the cards at some point in the next 12 months, but I have my head firmly in the sand and really don't want to, nor do I have to, deal with it yet. I've had 5 surgeries over a period of 2.5 years and frankly I'm done with it for now! 

So for now I'm living my life, exercising, running my group, coaching and working again. I'm up to running 7 miles and working on building it up, getting fitter stronger and have some great events planned for the summer. It's not that I'm in denial.. far from it. I just want to live as normal a life as I can and honestly I'm just really bored of it all. I'm utterly bored of talking about it, of doctors, hospitals, surgery and feeling sick.

I have some really exciting work projects and want to focus on being a runner, coach and athlete again rather than a sick person. I want to be known as a runner/mum/athlete/coach/writer/fun happy person.. not a bag lady.

So on that note, I've decided to wrap this blog up for the time being. It's been a huge source of comfort to me over the last 2 years and writing about my journey has helped get me through it. Judging by the emails I've had from other people facing the same surgery or illness it's been a source of comfort to many others too, and I'm pleased it has helped even in just a small way. But it's time for me to move on. Continuing to write about it just isn't for me any more.

I have no idea what the future will hold, apart from it's very different than the one I imagined. All I'll say is this.. Never take anything for granted folks, especially when it comes to your health and fitness... no-one knows what's round the next corner. Enjoy every run and never complain. One day it might be taken from you.

So I'll say goodbye for now. Thank you for being there, for reading my ramblings and all your support. 

I'll leave you with this thought.... 

“Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out.” John Wooden